There’s no problem too big for our Dragony Aunt to solve – enter Fabulous Russella, the mean Queen with only your best interests at heart
Words Marianna Manson
If you were in any doubt over just how influential drag culture is among socially savvy modern Londoners, you only need to add up the ‘yaaaaas’’s sprinkled throughout your Twitter feed. On a scene bursting at the seams with fabulous Queens, it takes someone really special to steal the crown. But then, Fabulous Russella really is the most fabulous of them all.
Her star quality could be down to her impressive performance credentials (she’s done Lovebox, Britain’s Got Talent and countless runways) or her veteran status (she’s been performing for eight years). But really, we think it’s down to her unbeatable levels of sass and razor sharp tongue.
Don’t believe us? These readers were looking for a little Russella wisdom, and her tough love simply slayed…
Dear Russella,
My 38th (okay 40th) birthday is fast approaching, and whilst my social circle is still thirty-something and fabulous, I worry that I can’t pull off a shindig quite so spectacular as a few years ago. How can I make sure my celebration is one to remember?
Yours,
Not Yet Old and Boring
Dear Not Yet Old and Boring
Memory loss is a common side effect of old age. But the delusional belief that any of your parties have ever been good is called ‘rosy-retrospection’. This distorted view of reality serves to increase your sense of wellbeing during your final days, but fear not – at your next party, you have very little to live up to.
Dear Russella,
My girlfriend (classic lipstick lesbian) read about pegging in a women’s glossy and now she won’t stop going on about trying it. I’m not entirely against the idea, but as she wants me to be on the receiving end, I feel slightly weird about the power dynamic. What should I tell her?
A Troubled Fan
Dear A Troubled Fan
I was unfamiliar with some of the terms you used in your question and therefore did some research online.
According to Wikipedia a ‘lipstick lesbian’ is slang for a lesbian who exhibits a greater amount of feminine gender attributes relative to other gender expressions’. Also according to Wikipedia, pegging is ‘a sexual practice in which a woman performs anal sex on a man by penetrating the man’s anus with a strap-on dildo’.
I would advise you do your own research. Please google ‘Gayle Newland’ and consider calling a solicitor.
Fabulous Russella,
I keep getting my instagram posts removed even though they’re not even that bad – it’s only a bit of nip. How do I get the censorship police off my back?
Love from,
Cassidy
Xxxxxxxxxxx
Dear Cassidy
Our names are like badges. They bear information relating to our class, education level and even race.
Your name reminds me of a Golden Retriever I had the displeasure of meeting once. He too was unable to string a sentence together and he too preferred it doggy-style. If you are truly determined to get these people off your back, I would consider attempting the missionary position. Or at least changing your name.
Dear Russella,
I’ve just got a tattoo of my boyfriend’s name on my forearm. I love him, but I’m starting to get a horrible gut feeling that it may have been a mistake. Tell me it’s going to be okay and that true love lasts a lifetime?
Yours,
A Woman in Love (Honestly)
Hello A Woman in Love (Honestly)
Your gut feeling is likely a gastrointestinal issue due to an infected tattoo, caused by Hepatitis C – for which there is no vaccine.
The true love you are experiencing will certainly lead to liver disease and therefore last a lifetime.
You can catch Russella live at the Poodle Club in Sydenham, South London, this Saturday 3rd of February. Tickets are available here.